New Non-Racist Diversity Czar: "Move it whitey!"

In going with societies "white people bad" theme, new FCC Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd has a solution to the problem of too many white people in positions of power: "You're fired. Even though you're a nice white."

This... there's nothing more difficult than this. Because we have really, truly good white people (Impossible I say!) in important positions. And the fact of the matter is that there are a limited number of those positions. And unless we are conscious of the need to have more people of color, gays, other people in those positions we will not change the problem. We're in a position where you have to say who is going to step down so someone else can have power.

And he must be right! If you put to many people genetically predisposed to be racists in positions of power, as all whites are, you'll have problems. So it's excusable in this instance to be racist toward whites. Hell, when isn't it excusable???

Link.

Enlightened Dave Matthews channels white guy motivation decoder, sees racism everywhere

As an enlightened liberal, Dave Matthews possesses the white guy motivation decoder and is able to know that the reason people oppose Obama is......RACISM! Forget government takeovers of the banking, auto, and possibly heath care indusury. Using those as reasons to oppose Obama....just white lies folks. White lies. No fooling Dave.

Link.

Tuscon school district to impose raced-based discipline standards

In Tuscon, there will be two sets of disciplinary standards for students. One for blacks and hispanics, and one for everyone else.

With the goal of creating a "restorative school culture and climate" that conveys a "sense of belonging to all students," the board is insisting that its schools reduce its suspensions and/or expulsions of minority students to the point that the data reflect "no ethnic/racial disparities."


From the section of the 52-page plan titled "Restorative School Culture and Climate," subhead, "Discipline":


"School data that show disparities in suspension/expulsion rates will be examined in detail for root causes. Special attention will be dedicated to data regarding African-American and Hispanic students."


The board approved creating an "Equity Team" that will oversee the plan to ensure "a commitment to social justice for all students."

Right on! Who did these (racist) administrators think they were, punishing black and hispanic kids at a higher rate??? As we know, the rate of punishment should be completely equal, or in fact, maybe even a little higher for white kids. After all, a white kid just existing is offensive. They're all born racists. Newsweek said so.

Equally punished Link.

Corn row battle

White cop. Cornrows. It's a no-no. Only African-Americans are permitted this particular style. Any whitey that has his hair like that is obviously just attempting to mock black people and their hair. It's that whole "uncontrollable racist impulse" that all of us crackers have.

To get booted off the street, a police officer has to do something pretty serious - like shoot a suspect or be accused of brutality. But in the 35th District, which covers Logan, Olney and adjacent neighborhoods, apparently a hairdo will do it. A cop who got cornrows was ordered off the street and kept on desk duty for two days until he cut his braids off, sources said

Just get a buzz and start chanting Heil Hitler. We all know that's what you really want to do anyways, cracka. Why else would a white guy be a cop?

Link.

New Racial Alert: Toll lanes deemed racist!

Ok, normally I'm a smartass, but this time I can't even muster up anything clever to say about this one. On it's face...it's just....funny. I swear to you, this is not from The Onion. Here's a bit....

ARLINGTON, Va. - There's a new turn in the debate over high occupancy toll lanes or HOT lanes.
A lawsuit filed by Arlington County last month claims the lanes benefit wealthy white people and discriminates against minorities. While the only rule to get in the HOV lanes on Interstate 395 is you must have three people in the car, Arlington claims adding HOT lanes would cut out poor and minorities by defacto.

I'm completely dumbfounded. Please explain to me how tolls are racist? We all pay them.

They're just making shit up now.

To let everyone know the truth, I don't get upset about race until I see things like this. The constant use of the race card and the double-standards in society are the main source of racial tension in this country. How can reasonable people not be upset when they see some jerks file a lawsuit claiming toll roads are racist? It's insane. When on a daily basis, I see certain demographics using their skin color to shake down people like this, and voting to protect their status as a preferred demographic in matters of hiring, contracts, and entitlements, and do so by flat out supporting racist policies themselves, it's infuriating.

There isn't going to ever be a post-racial America. There is too much to gain for some people by keeping things the way they are. This is just another example.

Racist traffic lanes? What the hell?

Link.

Obama's racist white half tells black gov not to run

Although he's considered a black man, let's not forget that half of Obama is genetically predisposed to hate black people, which is why Obama's racist white half has told black NY gov. David Patterson not to run for gov. again.

Even with only half-power, white hate still can run the show.

Ask Barack "cracker" Obama.

Link.

Black kids charged after their fists assaulted by racist white kid's head

Another racially motivated decision. Another one.

This time, two African-American teens, unable to control their emotions due to the constant injustice they face, were charged with assaulting a white teen on a school bus. And please, when you watch the video, take not of how many times the racist white jackass attacks the poor oppressed minorities'  fist with his hard, racist white head.

The. Hate. Never. Stops.

We need Jesse Jackson. Now.

Link.

ACORN: "It's racist to investigate black people"

This one is just in.

Non-racist black woman and ACORN ceo Bertha Lewis busts out her white guy motivation decoder and is able to determine that James O'Keefe, the mastermind of the (racist) undercover sting operation that exposed numerous ACORN employees at several locations across the country as willing to engage in tax evasion, falsifying documents, and underage prostitution, was simply doing so because he is (no surprise here) a RACIST hatemonger unable to control his evil white urges!!!! 

Not that we here at EEIAR needed to tell you that though. It's in our blood.

Here's the link.

12% feel opposition to Obamacare racist. 88% disagree, and are clearly racist

I think the title of this post pretty much sums it up.

All things against anyone that isn't white are motivated by racism. Therefore, opposition to Obamacare: Racist! And the 88% of the country that (somehow) don't feel that it is racist: Racist!

Here's the link.

The White Guy Motivation Decoder

Many might wonder, "what is this mysterious white guy motivation decoder I hear of, yet do not possess." Well, as the owner of this blog, I feel it is my duty to explain this phonomenon to you.

On the night of November 4, 2008 a man was elected president. That man was Barack Hussein Obama. He is half-black. Which makes him our first black president. As we know, unless you are ghost white and have an anglo name, you aren't at all white.

Shortly after taking office, a strange thing started happening. (Racist) Conservatives and independents began to disapprove of the president's policies. They expressed mistrust of big government. They claimed to worry about spending. They said taxes would have to increase. They said they don't want government health care. And they said cap and trade would be the nail in the coffin for our economy.

And those of us that have this "white guy motivation decoder" can tell you one thing about all of those concerns:  they're bullshit. 100% bogus. Lies!

The decoder that certain people (everyone except heterosexual conservative white men) have tells them one thing. That all of these concerns were just a facade for their real concern. And that concern is the president's race. It can translate the real meaning of phrases that these white people spew.

For example, take the phrase "I'm not so sure about another big government program such as health care. I'm just not sure it could be done efficiently, and I don't really want to see it pass." With the decoder, you will clearly know that what this really means this: "I hate Barack Obama and all black people."

The decoder can also be used in situations that aren't political. For example, take this incident that happened between a customer service clerk and an oppressed minority customer at an electronic store...

Service Rep: "I'm sorry sir, I can't give you a refund. You have no receipt, and the tv is damaged. But if you'd like, I can give you store credit."

Oppressed minority: "Oh, I see. You a racist. Can't give a black man 'is money back! I'm callin the NAACP!"

So clearly, you can see that having the white guy motivation decoder is valuable in a plethora of situations.

Now you must be wondering, "how can I get one of these?" And the answer is simple. You must be sent for re-education. (College) You must be taught that everything, everywhere, is always racist. You must change your political affiliation to one of the following: Democratic Party or Green Party.  And you must join certain causes or organizations such as ACORN, World Workers Party, ANSWER, La Raza, MeCha, Code Pink, Free Mumia, or the New Black Panthers.

If you do adopt these new groups or causes, shortly after you'll notice something. And that something will be the ability to decode the true meaning of phrases and actions uttered by all white people and anyone that disagrees with you in any situation at any time. Everyone has this decoder already in them. But in order to release it's awesome power, all you have to do is free your mind by supporting these certain issues.

It's really quite simple.

Good luck. And to those of you that do want this decoder and are willing to do anything possible to get it, may the force be with you.

Jimmy Carter channels white guy motivation decoder, busts white people out hard!

Jimmy Carter exposed racist whites and their true motivation (a la Maureen Dowd) by channeling his inner white guy motivation decoder. Carter also possesses this magical gift, located deep up his own ass, as he so eloquently presented to us yesterday.

Here's the link.

Tell me your not in awe of this man's insight and intuition.

The. Hate. Never. Ever. Stops!

New Racial Alert: Whites about to put on hoods and ride around countrysides

Drats! Foiled again, Batman!

I already had my hood out and was a-ready to a-go n' uppress me sum maahnoruteez! Me, Jethro, Cletus and ole Bocephus were ready!

Until our evil plot was exposed by Hank Johnson, who is completely not a race-hustler or paranoid in any way....

In an obvious reference to the Ku Klux Klan, Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Ga., said Tuesday that people will be putting on "white hoods and white uniforms again and riding through the countryside" if emerging racist attitudes, which he says were subtly supported by Wilson, are not rebuked. He said Wilson must be disciplined as an example.

You've gotta remember folks, as whites, we do not have the ability to disagree with anything anyone who isn't white does without it being motivated by racism. (unless they're conservative) Hank was just pointing this out to prevent all of us white nutcases from goin all "1845" again.

Non-hooded link.

Racists harrass ACORN

Come on now.

Can't a black community activist aid someone in committing tax evasion, falsifying documents, and prostituting underage chicks from El Salvador without da man crashin their parade?
Unbelievable. Whitey just won't quit. Here these poor black women are, trying to help this pimp and hooker get a house to run their "business" out of, and whaddaya know, turns out they're undercover racists trying to destroy the lives of more black people.

Again, racism shows it's face.

Link.

Enlightened being Maureen Dowd: "I see racist people"

Again, all of us gentically predisposed to be racists (conservative whites, you know?) have had our motivations pegged by a superior human being. This time, it was Marueen Dowd.

Dowd, being the enlightened human being that she is, was able to determine the motive for Joe Wilson's now infamous "You lie" episode.

You see, it wasn't that Wilson took offense to being called a liar by the president, or was really concerned about illegal immigrants receiving coverage, it was because he, as a savage and racist by his genetic make up, could not control his emotions when he saw that the president is (gasp) a black man. And in true white racist form, he snapped. And now we have the "you like" debacle.

But Dowd's amazing insight didn't stop there. You see, she has some sort of internal "white translating capability," and because she has this unique ability, she was able to tell what Joe Wilson really meant: "You lie, boy!"

Boy. That's right. As in, "don't you lecture me, you black boy." She knew he was really thinking "boy" and just didn't say it! Incredible! Just think, we would not have known any of this had it not been for Maureen Dowd's almost superhuman ability to pinpoint someone's true motivation for their actions, which in this case, as usual, was racism. Somewhere, deep up her own ass, Dowd pulled out this insightful gem. And I'm sure her ass is full of many, many more gems like this one to keep all of us stupid, genetically predisposed white racists in line and in order.

I hereby nominate Maureen Dowd for the newly created czar position of Czar of Motivation Translation. With Dowd and her insight-containing ass, no white person anywhere will be able to hide their real motivation for anything they do.

Which I'm sure is racism.

Link to Dowd's ass gem. 

Racist attack on school bus

Just watch how this white oppressor violently attacks the poor, oppressed African-American child's clenched fist with his head.

The. Hate. Never. Stops.

When will whites stop violently attacing black men by headbutting their fists and getting in the way of the bullets they fire?

When?

Link.

More damn racist toddlers

The hate never stops.

The. Hate. Never. Stops!

Toddlers who turn their noses up at spicy food from overseas could be branded racists by a Government-sponsored agency.




The National Children's Bureau, which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care.




This could include a ch More..ild of as young as three who says "yuk" in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food.

If my child ever even thinks about saying "yuk" to a food regularly eaten by a minority group in this country, I will immediately take them to get sensitivity training. To say "yuk," to something, for example a chili cheese burrito, is a definite sign of genetic predisposition inherent in whites to hate everything.

We must put our toddlers in line. And  by put in line I mean force them to like spicy food. The self-esteem of illegal immigrant kids everywhere is at stake.

Link.

More tea party racism

The Washington Post has a nice piece brilliantly exposing to everyone that all one million or so people that marched on DC to allegedly protest socialized medicine, excessive spending, our massive debt, and inevitable increase in taxes, were really just a bunch of dumb white racists that didn't even know what they were protesting. In fact, it has been said the the estimates weren't anywhere near one million, or even a hundred thousand, or even ten thousand. It just so happens that a few hundred thousand racist white people carrying anti-obama signs all got lost at the same time and same place, as Daily Kos and some other non-racist media outlets have stated.

And again, you must remember, the default setting for white people, well, white conservatives I mean is "racist," therefore, any meeting, gathering, outing, or movement must be motivated  by racism.

This is just another example.

The link to another fine piece of journalism pulled from out of the ass of the non-racists is here.

Kanye West stops racist award speech

Nothing says "bitter hateful racist getting awards handed to her because she's a whitey" like the name Taylor Swift.

And last night a brave man and fighter for awards show justice named Kanye West was the man of the hour, when after downing some booze, decided to stop the racist acceptance speech by jumping up on stage, taking the mic from bitter racist Taylor Swift, and announcing to everyone in attendance and everyone watching that Beyonce, and not in fact Taylor Swift, should have won the award.

How does West come to this conclusion?

I'm not sure.

But I am sure of one thing. Swift is white, West and Beyonce are black, which therefore makes Swift by genetic default an insane hatemonger, and unworthy of any award. Even from MTV.

Thank you Kanye west, for pointing out this grave injustice. Man, what a brave soul. Many a man has feared the wrath of a woman like Taylor Swift. I mean, look at her with her thin frame and aryan features!! West knows that she's not really the sweet, polite, likeable, well-spoken, professional, and talented young lady she appears to be or anything.

And Kanye, I'm sure Beyonce is proud of you for doing this and is not at all embarrassed. And you really, really, didn't look like a giant jackass or anything either. No matter what pretty much everyone else on earth says, we know you're a black man fighting for justice. And this time, that fight came in the form of grabbing the mic from..........Taylor Swift.
Fish sticks!

Link.

Are tea partiers racists?

White - check

Conservative - check

As we have discovered, those are the only two criteria for one to be considered a racist in American society now. Therefore, the answer to this question is "yes," without a doubt, tea partiers must all be racists.

There is no way this many white people could get together without their default setting of "hatemonger" showing it's ugly face and making itself the underlying theme of a movement. There is no way they could all really be concerned about excessive spending, big government takeovers, coming hyperinflation and increases in taxes.

No way.

It's just racism.

Link

Hurricane naming rights reparations

Racial Alert Flashback: 2003 


Representative Sheila Jackson Lee states the the following: 

“All racial groups should be represented,” Lee said, according to the Hill. She hoped federal weather officials “would try to be inclusive of African-American names.”

I have a couple questions about this...


1) Because everything, everywhere is always racist, this means that not assigning, and also assigning black names to hurricanes is racist. Exclusion is racist, but so is giving a black name to a natural disaster that causes destruction on a massive scale. "Hurricane Sheila" would have been bitching up a storm either way.


2) If a "black hurricane" was heading towards us, could you scare it back out to sea by playing a lil' Hank, Jr? 


Wow. This is the civil rights movement now. Hurricane names. 

Daily Kos Editor: "Glenn Beck is the head of a new racist mob"

Another brilliant piece of journalism by Jed Lewison, in which he manages to figure out that when Glenn Beck says the word "communism" what he really means is "I hate race mixing."

Now how did he come to this conclusion? He went into typical non-racist detective mode, which involves consulting the most reliable source in performing such investigations: his own ass. Jed took his hand, made a fist, and jammed it up his own ass, and pulled this investigative masterpiece out.

Brilliant. 

I wish I had such capabilities. 

Link to investigation through ass consultation   

Genius: "Police target black Cincinnati Bengals"

I'm not aware of any black Bengals being arrested lately, so we must credit this blogger for outing yet another conspiracy driven by the genetic predisposition towards racism that is inherent in all of us whites. I had thought that maybe black Bengals were being arrested for well, breaking the law, as most people are, but after reading this masterpiece by a blogger going by "tabacco," who is definitely not paranoid or anything,  it became clear that the Cincy PD, (probably ran by whites) had orchestrated a plot to arrest black Bengals football players as often as possible and for no good reason at all. Just because, ya know. That's what cops (well white cops) do, right? Arrest black football players for not breaking the law. Right. Got it everyone.

Plus, it was rumored that many on the force were Cleveland Browns fans and had an alternate but equally sinister motivation present. They wanted to make the Bengals suck more by arresting all their players.

They really didn't need to arrest anyone for that.

Link to masterpiece by blogger that isn't paranoid at all. 

Dogs also bitter racists

So it was proven by Clara Jeffery of Slate.

And what does she propose to remedy the tendencies of these racist beasts? Doggie diversity training!

It is possible to mitigate such behavior, through a sort of doggie diversity training, whereby the pet is gradually exposed to what sets it off. But it can be hard to persuade your black or white-bearded friends to participate in such cultural immersion exercises. 

What do you expect from racist animals? Cooperation? Heh. I think not. 

Some will argue that what dogs display is not racism, but something more akin to cause-and-effect conditioning. Really, though, is there a difference? Consider that many people become prejudiced by being raised in a very insular way, in their own enclave of whites or Hispanics or blacks, largely ignorant of people who are different. Humans, too, fear the unfamiliar and use a bad experience or two to tar a whole class of people.

Lady, read that title of this blog. It is racism. Dogs are bitter racists! Quit making excuses!

Bitterly racist customer fun rating

Clearly, the customer fun rating between two baby dolls - one white and one black - should be identical, or the fun rating for the black baby doll should be a bit higher. This is how things should be in a fair and just Amerikkka.

But it is not what happened in this instance.

Please take note of the customer fun rating for the white doll, which was 5 stars, and the customer fun rating for the black baby doll, which received only 1 star. Clearly, this is more evidence that everything everywhere is always racist, because all of us caucasians that are genetically inclined to hate everything non-white just couldn't hide our default setting of "racist." Not even when it came to these two baby dolls.

The horror.

Racist 1 star link.

Racist computer desk

The "everything" part of the name of this blog does extend to inanimate objects also.

Check out this "Black Kid's Computer Desk" they're selling at Target. What? Does the desk play rap music?

OMG It's Raaaacist!

Jesse and Al have to hear about this one. It's time for another march filled with phony outrage and plenty of blame shifting.

Racist computer desk link.

Oliver Willis: "Making me mad is racist!"

That's the gist of it, I guess.

Chunk-a-lunk got ticked off at some clown named Shaun Conley for sending him a less than polite email insinuating that he, as well as the rest of Obama's supporters, are akin to slaves awaiting handouts from their "massa," Barack Hussein Obama. Somehow, in Oliver's mind, any time anyone anywhere brings up race in a comment, that comment is racist, especially if it makes him mad. That is a bit ironic, considering that Oliver is the first one to throw the race card into things and has a desire for retribution against whites. He has stated himself "I can't wait 'til you people are a minority." Really, Oliver? Why's that? The man is a hateful, anti-white bigot and a socialist. The trained seals that comment on his site are nothing more than his useful idiots.

The email Mr. Conley sent must have really hit a nerve.

Link.

PS: OW, that was hardly a "threat." Quit acting like a little girl. Be more like your hero, Superman

Olbermann: "All criticism of Obama motivated by racism!"

Looks like Olby shares the same worldview that Janeane Garofalo does. Check out this clip in which KO basically says that all criticisms of "The One" are rooted in deep racial hatred of Barack Hussein Obama.

And all this time I thought it was his excessive spending and scary desire to centralize power and take over entire industries.

Silly me. Should've know it was RACISM!

Link.

Jeremiah Wright: "Against socialism? You're a racist!"

Add this to the list of things that make of us unconscious racists, well, racists. All this time I thought I was against socialized medicine because I was content with my coverage, didn't want to have to end up with my care rationed, and was concerned about our ever growing defecit that swallowing our nation like a black hole. Oops. I mean, "collapsed star of no particular color or creed."

And come to find out, I'm just against it because I'm a racist. And as those of us on this blog know, everthing everywhre is always racist.

Thank you Jeremiah Wright for clarifying for me what my real motives are. You are brlliant. And definitely, not a racist.

Link.

Newsweek: White babies are racist

Some people are born gay. Some people are just destined to be tall. Some short. So I guess some people can be born racist. Especially hate-filled white babies. So says Newsweek.

At the Children's Research Lab at the University of Texas, a database is kept on
thousands of families in the Austin area who have volunteered to be available
for scholarly research. In 2006 Birgitte Vittrup recruited from the database
about a hundred families, all of whom were Caucasian with a child 5 to 7 years
old.

And the moneyquote from this brilliant study: "It's horrifying to imagine kids being "proud to be white."

Again, check out the title of this blog. That includes babies. Well, white babies anyways.

Link

Labour: "Hey let's ignore muslim fanatics and target white people"

Britian continues to degenerate into an upside down politically correct toilet in which real threats are ignored to avoid offending the ever-so-sensitive feelings of islamic fundies that actually have committed terrorist acts and surely will again in the future.

Their latest stunt: ignoring islamofascists and targeting, give ya one guess, racists in white areas.

As we've seen across the globe, leftists will stop at nothing to appease and pander to gain power. If it means ignoring terrorist nutcases and throwing a few whites under the bus to make them happy, so be it.

Link.

Oliver Willis: Conservatism based on racism

The blogosphere's most notorious race-obsessed leftist, Oliver Willis, goes on record stating that the entire foundation of conservative politics is, you guessed it, racism.

In his own words, chunk-a-lunk says the following: "Conservatives get really upset when you point out that the foundation of their movement is based on racism, and that the largest domestic terror attack came from the right side of the aisle."

What upsets us is the sheer stupidity of the statement and the false motive being assigned to us. This tactic is the main one used by lefists to divide and conquer. And Oliver Willis has based an entire blog on this tactic. Well that and like...comic books or something.

Link.