Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The White Guy Motivation Decoder

Many might wonder, "what is this mysterious white guy motivation decoder I hear of, yet do not possess." Well, as the owner of this blog, I feel it is my duty to explain this phonomenon to you.

On the night of November 4, 2008 a man was elected president. That man was Barack Hussein Obama. He is half-black. Which makes him our first black president. As we know, unless you are ghost white and have an anglo name, you aren't at all white.

Shortly after taking office, a strange thing started happening. (Racist) Conservatives and independents began to disapprove of the president's policies. They expressed mistrust of big government. They claimed to worry about spending. They said taxes would have to increase. They said they don't want government health care. And they said cap and trade would be the nail in the coffin for our economy.

And those of us that have this "white guy motivation decoder" can tell you one thing about all of those concerns:  they're bullshit. 100% bogus. Lies!

The decoder that certain people (everyone except heterosexual conservative white men) have tells them one thing. That all of these concerns were just a facade for their real concern. And that concern is the president's race. It can translate the real meaning of phrases that these white people spew.

For example, take the phrase "I'm not so sure about another big government program such as health care. I'm just not sure it could be done efficiently, and I don't really want to see it pass." With the decoder, you will clearly know that what this really means this: "I hate Barack Obama and all black people."

The decoder can also be used in situations that aren't political. For example, take this incident that happened between a customer service clerk and an oppressed minority customer at an electronic store...

Service Rep: "I'm sorry sir, I can't give you a refund. You have no receipt, and the tv is damaged. But if you'd like, I can give you store credit."

Oppressed minority: "Oh, I see. You a racist. Can't give a black man 'is money back! I'm callin the NAACP!"

So clearly, you can see that having the white guy motivation decoder is valuable in a plethora of situations.

Now you must be wondering, "how can I get one of these?" And the answer is simple. You must be sent for re-education. (College) You must be taught that everything, everywhere, is always racist. You must change your political affiliation to one of the following: Democratic Party or Green Party.  And you must join certain causes or organizations such as ACORN, World Workers Party, ANSWER, La Raza, MeCha, Code Pink, Free Mumia, or the New Black Panthers.

If you do adopt these new groups or causes, shortly after you'll notice something. And that something will be the ability to decode the true meaning of phrases and actions uttered by all white people and anyone that disagrees with you in any situation at any time. Everyone has this decoder already in them. But in order to release it's awesome power, all you have to do is free your mind by supporting these certain issues.

It's really quite simple.

Good luck. And to those of you that do want this decoder and are willing to do anything possible to get it, may the force be with you.

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